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Barry Crimmins

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Snow Falls In July! Saturday, July 12, 2008

Snow Falls In July
Former White House Press Secretary and FOX News celebrity Tony Snow died today. Snow was renowned for his ability to "hide an elephant behind a peanut."

In response to Snow's death, White House Press Secretary Dana Perino issued a brief denial on behalf of President Bush, adding, "Tony would have wanted it that way."

Snow's afterlife processing has been delayed as Snow has been put at the end of a long line that's full of war dead.

St. Peter excitedly rehearsed the lines he'll use when the former executive branch apologist makes it to the front of the line: "Snow, party of none? Oh yes, I have some very special nothing for you right here."

Vice-president Cheney expressed sorrow, stating, "I told those fuckers to take out McClellan. McClellan!"  

First Tim Russert and now Tony Snow -- they just don't make poor excuses for the media like that anymore.

If there were ever two men who could ruin a Sunday morning in heaven, it's those guys!

These are nervous times for the power elite's lackeys, after all, these things come in threes.

updated: 10 years ago