The Final Daft

The Final Daft
The wonderful arts writer Jim Sullivan of JimSullivanInk was kind enough to promote my farewell appearances three years ago. When he heard I was coming back he felt deserving of an explanation. I couldn't agree more.  I'm glad he asked now because I'm getting good at rationalizing this whole thing.

Sully- Just a quick note to explain that I am not actually coming out of retirement.

When I quit standup almost four years ago, I had assurances of freelance work from several editors and producers. Within six months each one of my front-office pals had been fired or laid off or bought out or summarily executed (mostly Newscorp employees). Any freelance work that became available after these, uh, workplace transitions went first to the now former editors and producers. This provided the corporate news biz with a way to keep former employees from spilling the beans on just how slimy things have become in America's newsrooms.

To make matters worse, Huffington Post came along and turned the entire internet into a volunteer writing zone. How very liberal! They said paying writers was not a "financial model" they would use. When it comes to financial models, Kunta Kinte is more of what Arianna has in mind.

After I whittled down the enormous nest egg I'd built up as a leftwing satirist who appeared mostly at rallies, picket lines and other fundraisers for a standard fee of zero percent off the top, the lack of paid work began to catch up with me. In the form of abject poverty. Fortunately I had placed a loophole in my original announcement of retirement. I said that I'd be happy to come back to do fundraisers for old friends who had fallen upon hard times.

And so I am not so much coming out of retirement as I am preparing to do a series of fundraisers for my oldest, dearest and most worthy friend: me.

They start this Friday night at Mottley's in Boston at 8 pm. Joining me will be the brilliantly hilarious Erin Judge and the ever unpredictable and always uproariously funny Dennis Perrin. This show is so good we're also  doing it again on Saturday night at 8pm.

With apologies for any confusion that has resulted from talk of an actual comeback and advance thanks for publicizing the fundraisers,


Barry Crimmins returns to the stage @
Mottley's Comedy Club
61 Chatham St, Boston, MA
Fri 11/05/2010 & Sat 11/06/2010  8pm each night
For tickets by Phone call 877-548-3237
To purchase tickets online please click here


Re: The Final DraftSaturday, November 13th 2010 6:13PM

I was just now laughing at this when Tink asked me to share it with him. He can't get up & read it himself because Jackie Boy is draped across  Gramps's belly. God forbid he should put the tyke down. You might enjoy knowing Dave is now doing his weird snort-guffaw-combo laugh in relation to the niggardly Ms. Huffington/Kunta Kinte observation. I wish I knew why we're supposed to take her seriously.

It's impossible to say anything about the success of your recent shows that won't make me sound like a Silent Majority cheerleader again. Tough shit. "BARRY, BARRY, HE'S OUR MAN, IF HE CAN'T SHAME 'EM, NOBODY CAN!"

Remember, we're still here if you need basic out-patient medical care. And a hot meal.

I'm still hoping to see that  maybe-there-is/maybe-there-isn't secret recording about which I know nothing, nothing of the show.

A blessing on your head! - Sara

PS: My dad LOVED the story of your kicking the shit out of Bob Brewer on behalf of Jackie Jackson. Made his day.

SuzanWednesday, November 10th 2010 2:50PM

Charlie, you nailed it. Thank you, it's beautifully stated.

Charlie  Friday, November 5th 2010 5:52AM

If your wealth was equal to the enjoyment and laughter you provide for others, financially, you'd be very well off.