WTF indeed
To Marc Maron c/o WTF podcast
Dear Marc, Most comics would give their right eye to appear on your fabled WTF podcast. Unfortunately it is my left eye that's at stake. (NOTE: images shown are reversed)
As you already know, my eye was victimized by an unprovoked attack by a malicious pine branch. As a result of this heartless assault, the cornea suffered an abrasion and the retina was torn. A few days ago I was subjected to massive laser bombardment in an attempt to bond the retina back to the eyeball. We won't learn until next week if this procedure succeeded in repairing the offended orb.
The sight I have in the aforementioned eye is quite hazy. All I see appears as if it's part of a cinematic dream sequence. Sadly, it's a lousy movie and the dream sequence does not include me appearing on stage at the Wilbur Theater in Boston this Friday night with you, Mike Donovan, Jimmy Tingle, Frank Santorelli, Kenny Rogerson and Tony Vee. Considering the stellar lineup, it almost makes me want to attempt driving the fifteen hour round-trip. It's just that I worry about innocents who might be harmed as I try to negotiate hundreds of miles in fabulous 2D vision that results from my now de rigueur eye-patch.
As much as the evening would have benefited from me talking about myself, I'm sure my dear friends will make a point of
using their segments to discuss their fallen comrade. I'm moved by their generosity. Merely considering their selflessness brings a tear to my eye -- although I'll allow that the laceration to my retina could be a contributing factor.
So you kids go ahead and have a fine time and don't worry about me, sitting here alone, heartbroken and heavily medicated. I'll get along somehow. WTF will be around for a long, long time and I can still dream of the day when I can appear on your show to tell you and your erudite audience all about me.
In the meantime, thanks so much for the invite and sorry I can't make it.
Yours basted in self pity,
Blinky Crimmins
Dear Marc, Most comics would give their right eye to appear on your fabled WTF podcast. Unfortunately it is my left eye that's at stake. (NOTE: images shown are reversed)
As you already know, my eye was victimized by an unprovoked attack by a malicious pine branch. As a result of this heartless assault, the cornea suffered an abrasion and the retina was torn. A few days ago I was subjected to massive laser bombardment in an attempt to bond the retina back to the eyeball. We won't learn until next week if this procedure succeeded in repairing the offended orb.
The sight I have in the aforementioned eye is quite hazy. All I see appears as if it's part of a cinematic dream sequence. Sadly, it's a lousy movie and the dream sequence does not include me appearing on stage at the Wilbur Theater in Boston this Friday night with you, Mike Donovan, Jimmy Tingle, Frank Santorelli, Kenny Rogerson and Tony Vee. Considering the stellar lineup, it almost makes me want to attempt driving the fifteen hour round-trip. It's just that I worry about innocents who might be harmed as I try to negotiate hundreds of miles in fabulous 2D vision that results from my now de rigueur eye-patch.
As much as the evening would have benefited from me talking about myself, I'm sure my dear friends will make a point of
using their segments to discuss their fallen comrade. I'm moved by their generosity. Merely considering their selflessness brings a tear to my eye -- although I'll allow that the laceration to my retina could be a contributing factor.
So you kids go ahead and have a fine time and don't worry about me, sitting here alone, heartbroken and heavily medicated. I'll get along somehow. WTF will be around for a long, long time and I can still dream of the day when I can appear on your show to tell you and your erudite audience all about me.
In the meantime, thanks so much for the invite and sorry I can't make it.
Yours basted in self pity,
Blinky Crimmins
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GaryMonday, April 29th 2013 12:58AM
Seth I hear you. First they crucified Christ, later they unleashed the plague, now this. Join with me as I sing the old honky spiritual:
Has anybody here, seen my old friend Crimmins -
Can you tell me where he's gone?
He freed a lot of people, but it seems the good die young
But I just looked around and he's gone.
Jesus wept.
SethThursday, April 25th 2013 10:17PM
This makes me sad.
Eric HansenWednesday, August 22nd 2012 2:20AM
I fear that "long time no see" is a far too appropriate phrase for your situation. I can only hope your health in general, and eyesight in particular, are improving - and that you may be able to let us know of your progress sooner than later.
Me, I'm trying to come to terms with the discovery Soylent Green (in the original novel) WAS NOT PEOPLE, but simply soya and lentils. Apparently the recently dead author, Harry Harrison, thought it appalling enough (in 1966) that there could be 7 billion people on the Earth as of 1999. Well, he was only off by a decade.
Actually, it's time for the Gal Pal and I to once again visit her Leatherstocking roots, and catch a couple of Glimmerglass Opera productions. Have high expectations for their rendition of Kurt Weill's Lost in the Stars - hardly a typical operatic offering.
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GARYWednesday, July 18th 2012 7:54PM
Your absence from this site is NOW causing me an inconvenience. The reasons are many, but mainly it is not knowing what is up with your dogs. I'm weird that way.
Please rectify.
GARYMonday, May 14th 2012 1:41AM
This post is long in the tooth.
Snap out of it man!!!
I have ghost cell glaucoma as a result of this injury. It makes computer use very difficult. Please don't hesitate to contact me directly to complain about any inconvenience this has caused you.
such a FAKE !Saturday, April 7th 2012 11:16AM
Eye -patch doesn't pass the smell test , Crimmins . -J.Joslin ( Detroit )
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FTWThursday, February 2nd 2012 11:40PM
the eyepatch looks boss, man.
JimfantinoMonday, January 30th 2012 10:40AM
OH man Barry. Sorry about the eye! Sending my good thoughts and wishes for a speedy recovery. Ouch.
CharlieFriday, January 27th 2012 5:51AM
Hell, you should have called me, I'd have driven out and got. I figure between the two of of us we have at least 1 1/2 good eyes.
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